Time to Read: 4 mins
Ever had one of those tiny, seemingly insignificant moments that somehow manages to shine a spotlight on something much bigger?
Yeah… I had one of those this week. 🙋🏻♀️
I was walking down to my office — coffee in hand, mind already flipping through my mental to-do list — when I suddenly noticed...
My shoulders were tight, my jaw was clenched, and I was moving way faster than the moment required.
Almost like my body thought it was late for something… even though my day had barely even begun.
🚫 No crisis.
🚫 No conflict.
🚫 No deadline tapping on my shoulder.
Just the six inches between my ears running a script I didn’t consciously choose.
✨ Catching Thinking Traps in Action!
Thankfully, one of the benefits of having a self-leadership practice is that I can catch these thinking traps in action. Something that, years ago, I wouldn't have been able to do.
But this time... I paused, checked in, and realized what was below the surface.
It wasn’t today I was reacting to.
It was the echo of an old pattern.
A pattern that formed years ago inside corporate roles where urgency was the culture, chaos was the norm, and leadership was… well, let’s just call it “less than supportive.”
Back then, bracing for impact felt logical. Even necessary. In response, my nervous system learned to scan for danger, even when none existed.
And even though I left that world nearly twenty years ago, that pattern still pops up like an old injury on a cold day — reminding me that it’s still there.
But now, I have tools. And perspective.
And here’s what hit me in that moment:
Sometimes the habits we carry aren’t rooted in who we are today…
they’re rooted in who we had to be back then.
Those old reflexes were once forms of protection. The bracing, anticipating, rushing — they were all forms of survival for me.
But what protects you in one season can limit you in the next.
And that’s where self-leadership comes in.
Self-leadership gives you the ability to name your patterns instead of being ruled by them.
To meet yourself with compassion instead of criticism.
And to choose what comes next, instead of recycling old responses.
Because whether your version of “bracing” shows up in your shoulders, your calendar, your relationships, or your self-talk… it’s a signal worth paying attention to.
It’s also a reminder that leadership doesn’t start with how you lead others.
It starts with how you lead yourself.
💡Practionable Takeaway
We can outgrow roles, companies, and seasons of life…
... but without intentional self-leadership, the internal residue can linger.
However, once you start naming a pattern, without judgment or shame, the pattern begins to lose its grip.
And what takes its place is a new internal experience that’s rooted in agency rather than autopilot.
But how can you do this? Well, here’s a simple practice to help you.
At the end of your day, pause and ask yourself:
1️⃣ What’s one feeling or pattern I carried into today without realizing it?
Maybe it showed up in your shoulders, your pace, your tone, or your thoughts. Did you rush? Hold your breath? Second-guess yourself? Name whatever surfaced, even if it feels small. Awareness always begins with noticing.
2️⃣ Where might the roots of this pattern come from?
Gently trace it back. Perhaps it echoes an old workplace, a family expectation, a demanding season of life, or a leader who shaped how you learned to show up. You’re not digging for blame here, you’re simply uncovering context.
3️⃣ Does this pattern support the leader I’m becoming, or is it a leftover from a past version of me?
There’s no judgment here. Just curiosity. Some patterns protected you once, but no longer fit the chapter you’re in. And this question helps you decide which ones get to come with you, and which ones you might begin to release.
That’s it.
👎 No fixing.
👎 No forcing.
👍 Just awareness.
Because awareness IS progress.
🎥 Want to Go Deeper?
If today’s newsletter stirred something in you… maybe a memory, or a pattern you’ve carried, or a chapter you’re still healing from… then you might enjoy this week’s video.
It’s a personal one. A story about a toxic boss, a breaking point, and the moment everything shifted for me as a leader and as a person.
It’s raw in places, but that rawness lays the foundation for why self-leadership matters in ways that people don’t usually talk about.
So if you’ve ever felt
underestimated,
overlooked,
burned out,
pressured,
or shaped by leadership that didn’t lead from a healthy place… this video is for you. 👇
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Here’s to leading yourself in a strong, grounded, healthy way — today and every day.
To Your Success, 💜🧡
Laura
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