Time to Read: 3 mins
My coaching work has made me realize…
Responsibility has a branding problem.
It somehow picked up a reputation for being heavy and restrictive.
But is it, really?!
When people hear “take responsibility,” they often feel pressure or blame. It starts to feel like condemnation... like they're not doing enough.
And when responsibility feels this way, distance can start to feel like relief.
So it makes complete sense that people avoid the conversation, or neglect the opportunity to reflect, or ignore the issue in the hopes that it just goes away.
But more often than not, that approach doesn't work.
So, let's flip the script and talk about something that does.
It's time to rebrand responsibility as response-ability?
Because responsibility, at its most useful, isn’t about fault or self-criticism.
It's about having agency in the situation. It's about recognizing your ability to pause and choose how to respond.
It's about being able to explore:
What is actually mine to work with here?
Not the other person’s reaction or how it “should’ve” gone.
Just the part that lives within your control.
Whether that’s a shift in your perspective, a commitment surrounding your next move, or a decision around how you want to carry this forward.
That’s where responsibility starts to feel different.
When responsibility is framed as response-ability, it becomes less about fixing the past and more about choosing the future.
Response-ability says: I can’t change what happened — but I can decide what I do with it.
And that’s the shift that matters.
Because you’re choosing your response and moving forward with agency and intention.
And that’s self-leadership in action.
💡 Practionable Takeaway
How do I help my clients navigate this challenge? With a simple question:
How can I exercise response-ability in this moment?
And three simple steps will get you to the answer…
First, name what you’re responding to.
Not the entire situation. Just the part that’s still tugging at you.
The tension. The frustration. The unfinished feeling. Whatever it is.
Next, name one choice you still have.
Just one honest option that’s actually available to you right now.
As examples, maybe that’s:
- choosing how much mental space the issue gets today
- deciding how you’ll show up if a similar moment happens again
- clarifying a boundary for yourself
- deciding whether something needs to be addressed or released
Finally, take one small response-able action.
This could be internal... like a decision, a reframe, a commitment.
Or external... like a conversation, a clarification, a boundary.
The point isn’t to fix the past. It’s to practice using your agency in the present.
It’s to put self-leadership into action.
Because when you consistently exercise response-ability, responsibility stops feeling like a weight and starts functioning like a skill.
🎥 Want to Go Deeper?
If this idea of response-ability resonates with you, check out this week’s video.
In it, I share a powerful coaching framework for strengthening how you lead yourself forward after a hiccup.
It's kind of like getting a free coaching session.
Check it out here.👇
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To Your Success, 💜🧡
Laura
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