Time to Read: 3 mins
Have you ever noticed how we humans are really good at trying to solve things?
If something feels unclear or problematic, our instinct is to get to work on it.
We want to figure it out. Make a plan. Come up with the right next step.
And it makes sense when you consider that most of us have been rewarded for being capable problem-solvers for a very long time. It’s part of how we’ve navigated careers, relationships, families, and responsibility.
But every once in a while, that instinct actually gets in the way.
I was reminded of this recently during a coaching call.
A client brought a situation to our session that was quite familiar. Not identical to our past conversations, but close enough that I could see the pattern underneath it.
Different details and different people involved, but the same underlying tension threaded throughout.
It had a bit of a Groundhog Day quality to it.
In previous sessions, we’d taken the familiar, well-worn path of looking for solutions. We explored ways to address the challenge, discussed things that could be done differently, and looked at ideas for preventing a future repeat.
Yet, here we were again. Same problem… new form.
So instead of taking my usual approach — asking questions that would help my client find a fix — I paused.
And I shifted how I was listening.
Rather than helping my client solve this version of the problem, I started asking questions that invited them to learn from the pattern itself.
Questions like:
- What feels familiar about this situation?
- What stands out to you about your role in this moment?
- If this challenge had something to teach you, what might it be?
At first, they pushed back a little. After all, their goal with our call was to find a solution.
But something interesting happened when we stopped trying to find the fix and started reflecting on the underlying pattern.
As my client sat with these learning-oriented questions, their perspective shifted.
Suddenly, they saw something they hadn’t seen before. And it had nothing to do with the challenge at hand or the people involved.
It was a self-revelation. And from that place, a solution to the challenge naturally emerged. One with more insight and depth than they’d previously been able to surface.
It was an important reminder that not every problem needs an immediate solution.
Some situations need to be learned from before they can be resolved.
When we rush to solve, we often stay at the surface level, dealing with symptoms and applying familiar fixes... all while missing the real issue.
We wind up repeating the same pattern because it's disguised with new packaging.
But when we slow down enough to ask, “What is this moment trying to teach me?” something magical happens.
The learning changes how you relate to the problem.
And that change is what makes a better solution possible.
💡 Practionable Takeaway
If you find yourself dealing with Groundhog Day challenges of your own, here’s a small experiment to try...
Instead of asking, “How do I fix this?” try this three-step pattern interruption:
1️⃣ Name the pattern.
Ask yourself, "Where have I seen this before... even if the details were a bit different?"
2️⃣ Shift from solving to learning.
Ask, "If this situation has something to teach me, what might that lesson be?"
3️⃣ Let the answer sit.
No immediate action is required. Just notice what surfaces when you step back from the problem and learn from the patterns.
This doesn’t mean you never solve problems. Of course you do.
It just means you don’t always start by looking for the solution.
Sometimes, finding the embedded lesson is what allows the right solution to make its appearance.
🎥 Want to Go Deeper?
Check out this week’s video, which looks at how the questions we ask shape what we’re able to see… and how shifting those questions can create clarity and movement when answers alone aren’t cutting it.
You can check it out here.👇
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To Your Success, 💜🧡
Laura
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