Time to Read: 4 mins
Ever have one of those days when your brain feels like it has 47 tabs open — half of them frozen, a few playing music you can’t find, and none of them doing what you need them to?
That was me last week. 🤦♀️
My brain was flipping between a pile of to-dos, some creeping self-doubt about an upcoming talk, and random thoughts like, “Did I pull the chicken out of the freezer?”
And buried in all that mental noise was one thought that truly caught me off guard.
For context... I was prepping for a session with a new client — a brilliant and highly successful business owner with a long list of impressive achievements.
But as I reviewed my notes, this intrusive thought slithered in…
“What if I don’t have anything new to offer them? What if I’m not adding enough value?”
It’s ironic, right? I literally teach people how to lead their thoughts and yet, here I was, caught in the same mental loops I help others navigate every day.
But instead of pushing that thought away or labeling it as “bad,” I did the same thing I advise my clients to do:
I paused. And I got curious.
Then I asked myself:
→ Is this thought actually true?
→ Is this thought supportive?
And most importantly…
→ Are there any parts of this thought that are actually trying to help me?
Because sometimes, our inner critic isn’t entirely wrong. It’s just… loud. And not very nice.
And in that moment, I realized my doubt wasn’t trying to tear me down. It was actually asking me to step up.
And not because I wasn’t capable, but because I care about showing up fully.
So instead of spiraling into “not enough,” I took a breath and decided to listen to the nudge, without letting it take the wheel.
And our session was all the better for it.
Here’s why this matters.
We often hear advice like, “Ignore negative thoughts!” or “Just think positive!” But modern research tells a different story.
You see, thoughts are not facts, but they’re also not always meaningless noise.
Our thoughts shape how we feel, how we act, and ultimately, the results we create. This is called the cognitive-behavioral loop.
But here’s the twist most people miss…
Sometimes a thought that sounds negative is actually trying to help — it’s just showing up in a clumsy, unhelpful way.
Let’s say your inner critic is telling you: “I’m not prepared enough for this meeting.”
That could be pure self-sabotage… OR... it could be your brain’s way of saying, “Double-check your materials so you feel confident.”
The difference lies in your perspective... and your response.
Instead of shutting the thought down, self-leadership invites us to engage with it. To sift through it, keep what’s useful, and discard what’s not.
This is what psychologists call cognitive reframing. You’re not ignoring your thoughts; you’re looking at them from a different angle.
It’s a skill. And like any skill, it grows stronger the more you practice.
Practionable Takeaway
So how do you actually reframe your thinking in the moment, without getting swept away?
Here’s a simple filter you can use the next time a difficult thought shows up.
Ask yourself…
→ Is this thought true? Is there solid evidence for it, or is it just fear or habit talking?
→ Is this thought supportive? Even if it might be true, is dwelling on it useful in this moment?
→ Is there a valuable message hidden in this thought? Could it be pointing you toward an important insight that would serve you in some way?
If the answer is yes, use that information constructively.
If not, thank your mind for trying to help, and gently redirect your focus.
Remember, this isn’t about silencing your inner critic. It’s about transforming it into an inner coach.
And that’s self-leadership in action.
If this idea resonates, check out my latest video where I dive deeper into how to make your thoughts work for you instead of against you, using the science of self-leadership.
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And remember: your thoughts are powerful… but you’re even more powerful.
So, take good care of your mind this week. You deserve it.
To Your Success,
Laura
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