Time to Read: 5 mins
I recently had an interesting conversation with a business owner about the need for self-leadership, autonomy, and agency in the workplace.
As our conversation unfolded, he pushed back haaaard and said, "Individualism isn't good for business." Period. End of story.
It felt like hitting a brick wall.
And I'll admit... his closed response caught me off guard and left me flustered. I started stumbling over my words, trying desperately to untangle the assumption and explain that self-leadership isn't about individualism at all — in fact, it's just the opposite.
But I got nowhere. He left with his stance intact and his mind unchanged.
My mind, on the other hand, was swirling. And on my drive home, I kept trying to figure out why I was so bothered.
Was I taking it personally? After all, self-leadership has become my life’s work. And for good reason! I've witnessed firsthand how transformational it is, both for the individual and the organization.
But then I realized… I was frustrated because his position may have carried a kernel of truth. Ugh!
And that kernel, it turns out, was hiding in plain sight in a paper I’d read years before.
In a 2019 review and analysis of self-leadership, the authors acknowledge that self-leadership is reliably good for individuals, but its effects on teams depends on the context.
In other words, situations and environments matter.
And it makes sense when you consider that someone could leverage self-leadership as a tool to get ahead at the expense of others, which would erode team cohesion. So, yes, there is validity in this leader’s concerns.
BUT… the research also reveals a paradox of self-leadership.
No one person has all the knowledge, experience, or capability a situation calls for, so relying only on yourself is limiting by design. Self-leadership done well requires collaboration.
For me, revisiting this finding served as a reminder that:
A) two things can be true at the same time, and
B) there’s always nuance.
To better understand all sides, let's take a quick look at autonomy, agency, and self-leadership.
Autonomy is about the degree of choice or discretion you have in the situation. What am I free to decide?
Agency is your capacity to make choices, exercise judgment, and take action within your situation. How will I choose to act?
Self-leadership is how you influence your own thinking, behavior, and motivation so you can exercise that agency effectively. How will I lead myself through this?
In a selfishly motivated situation, the outcome can absolutely support the business owner’s concern around individualism. However, the opposite can also be true; it can contribute positively and meaningfully to the business and its clients.
Let’s look at a real-life example of someone who was thrust into the world of self-leadership and now wears it on his sleeve:
My husband, a commercial airline pilot (who was forced to read most of my papers during my PhD journey). 👨🏼✈️
The list of things that a pilot simply cannot decide for themselves is unending. Their autonomy is constrained by aviation regulations, company procedures, checklists, air traffic control, aircraft equipment limitations, safety requirements... the list goes on and on.
And yet, within those boundaries, agency is critical… for the pilots, the crew, the company, and the passengers.
Every day, pilots have to assess what's happening, figure out what's within their authority, exercise judgment, communicate, decide, and act. The checklists lay the foundation, but everything above it runs on judgment.
However, that judgment — which is wrapped up in self-leadership and agency — can look very different from pilot to pilot.
Recently, ahead of a six-hour flight with a delayed departure, hubby asked the gate agents to hold boarding for 20 minutes.
The usual rhythm at the gate is to board as quickly as possible so the agents can close out the flight and move on to the next one. But hubby commutes to his base as a passenger, so he knows how miserable it can be to sit on a plane that isn't moving.
Instead of loading everyone into their cramped seats only to have them sit and wait, he personally made an overhead gate announcement to have them wait in the gate area, where they would be more comfortable.
Passengers appreciated the consideration, flight attendants appreciated not dealing with irritated passengers, and the whole experience was improved because of this small act of self-leadership.
What’s interesting to me is that any captain can do this… but most don't think about it. They're in the cockpit, running their checklists, and the boarding process isn't fully on their radar. After all, it’s technically someone else’s job.
And this is why self-leadership is so important. Two pilots can operate within the same bounded conditions yet exercise very different levels of agency. Self-leadership is that differentiator.
Which brings me full circle to the piece I couldn't seem to articulate with that business owner:
Leading yourself doesn't mean leading for yourself.
The latter is when individualism shows up — making the business owner's concern quite legitimate. The former alleviates the concern because it has you reaching outward.
But honestly, I’m grateful for his pushback. He forced me to think it through even more deeply. And the next time a similar objection is raised, I’ll have a better answer…
Self-leadership asks us to lead ourselves well so we can show up better for whatever we're trying to accomplish together.
Inner Leader → Outer Impact
💡 Practionable Takeaway
This week, look for your version of “holding boarding.”
Where are you following the usual routine when a little more thought or consideration could improve the experience for someone else?
Identify one situation and ask yourself:
➡️ What am I noticing that others may be overlooking?
➡️ What can I do to improve the situation?
➡️ How would it benefit others?
Then, take one little action and watch what happens. It’s a small, practical way to develop your inner leader for outer impact.
🎥 Want to Go Deeper?
The research behind this issue has a lot more to offer than one newsletter can hold, so I pulled the most useful parts into a one-page handout.
It covers the four paradoxes the researchers identified (including the collaboration paradox from above), a leader move for each one, and a simple 30-day test to see whether self-leadership is showing up in your business results.
You can download the one-page handout here.
I hope you find it useful.
To Your Success,
Laura 💜🧡
P.S. Has someone's pushback ever made you rethink something you were sure about? Hit reply and tell me about it. I clearly have a soft spot for those moments now. 😉
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