PLN 52: Confirmation Bias in Leadership: Ask Better Questions

Time to Read: 5 mins 

"Huh?" he said with a contorted face and a confused look. 😵‍💫

I'll admit, the question I asked him was intentionally clumsy, but I had a good reason for my approach.

Two weeks earlier, he had come to our coaching call with an employee challenge. From his perspective, "Joan" went from authentically engaged to completely checked out over the span of a few short months. He had no idea why.

He knew he needed to have a direct conversation with her, but he hadn’t slowed down enough to think through the details. So he used our session to process his thoughts and get clarity around his strategy.

Two weeks later, he was back with the same problem, but this time it came with an extra helping of frustration. He'd had the conversation, but absolutely nothing had changed.

So I asked him to walk me through their chat. As he did, I noticed that every question he'd asked her was about the job: her workload, her priorities, what tools she needed to get back on track.

He had made assumptions about the root cause, which in turn shaped their entire interaction. In fairness, he was well-intentioned, but the whole conversation revolved around the role with no questions about her as a person.

Which is why I asked my clumsy question: What might you need to ask to learn what you’re missing?

"Huh?" 😵‍💫

I repeated the question and then went silent.

I watched him try to make sense of the question itself. And then, I watched as his look changed from confusion to awareness.

It's not uncommon to walk into a conversation with a preconceived idea and then use questions to affirm your position.

You might even think your questions are neutral. But the expectations we carry into a situation often lead to assumptive questions.

We wind up searching for our answer, instead of the answer.

This is confirmation bias in action.

A bit about confirmation bias…

In a classic 1978 study, psychologists Mark Snyder and William Swann told participants to interview someone who was “supposedly” an introvert or an extravert. Participants chose questions that confirmed what they'd been told, and those questions drew out behavior that seemed to prove them right.

It provided an important takeaway that still stands to this day: be aware when a question is actually a conclusion in disguise.

My client's questions came from a good place, but he asked what he wanted to know, which left no room for what he needed to find out.

Armed with this insight, he committed to revisiting the conversation once more. This time, with an open mind and a curious heart. And it completely changed the equation.

On our next call, he told me how Joan's sister was dealing with some health issues, so Joan was helping with her niece and nephew. He'd had no idea.

But that was actually the smaller of the two issues.

The bigger problem was that Joan had stopped feeling challenged. She'd gotten really good at her role — so good that she'd pinpointed ways to improve it — but she was never given the space or permission to experiment with her ideas. As an onboarding specialist, she'd essentially been told to follow the checklist and don't deviate. And this led to her apathy.

In my client’s defense, it was a proven system that the company had long relied on, but… she had ideas for making it even stronger. So, the two of them built an experimentation plan and carved out time for weekly meetings to discuss the results.

It turns out, her ideas turned a great system into an exceptional one, driving even higher customer satisfaction ratings. The impact was so significant that she’s now working with the client offboarding specialist to improve that experience as well, with the goal of creating more referrals.

At the end of our call, I asked my client what he learned about himself through this process. He acknowledged his habit of looking at the people on his team as employees and losing touch with who they are as individuals. The job was the only thing he'd been looking at, so the job was the only thing he'd ask about.

Now, he gets to know them as people first, and actively works to ask questions that could prove him wrong, leaving room for answers he never saw coming. It's helping him to be a better leader, and it’s helping his team to produce better results.

Inner Leader —> Outer Impact

💡 Practionable Takeaway

We’re all susceptible to biased questions, but there are steps we can take to mitigate the tendency. It's as easy as 1-2-3.

1️⃣ Write down your theory. What do you believe is going on, what is that belief based on, and what assumptions does it contain?

2️⃣ Draft two questions that could prove your theory wrong. This provides an opportunity for the other person to fill in your blind spots.

3️⃣ When the other person responds, say "Tell me more." This will help you gather a deeper, richer understanding of their experience or perspective.

It may seem like an overly simple process, but put it to the test and watch what it produces.

I double-doggy dare you. 😉 And when you do, reply to this email and let me know what surfaced for you! I’d love to hear about your results.

🎥 Want to Go Deeper? 

Giving Joan room to experiment improved the onboarding process, reignited her engagement, and gave my client a new way to support her growth. That alone is enough for another newsletter. 😉

Experimentation was also a theme that surfaced in my dissertation. Every successful business owner in my study made it a regular practice.

Wanting to understand it at a deeper level, I read a phenomenal book that you might enjoy: Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff.

The book explores how small experiments can help us challenge assumptions, explore possibilities, and learn as we go. If this story piqued your curiosity, it’s a great next read.

To Your Success,

Laura 💜🧡