PLN 50: How to Handle Business Setbacks With Self-Leadership

Time to Read: 4 mins 

I was recently on the Big Brave Business podcast, where Sarah Heeter (the brilliant host) and I had a fascinating conversation about mindset and the mind games that can sometimes ensnare us.

The episode, The Entrepreneurial Spiral: PQ + EQ Mindgames, brought me back to an experience from my early days in business… one that taught me quite a bit about myself.

It was 2009, I’d just left corporate and was working on my own. I had two active contracts, with a third coming on board, and I was feeling pretty good about my transition.

After all, I’d taken the leap to go out on my own, landed meaningful work, and was building something I was proud of.

Then… the third contract went sideways. 😬

For a while there, it was just plain messy. Our expectations weren’t aligned, we kept struggling to get on the same page, and each meeting seemed to lead to more confusion.

And the messier it got, the more I started to spiral.

I was thinking about it constantly! Questioning myself, my ability to do the work, whether or not I was equipped to be a business owner… all the things.

To make matters worse, I became so consumed by what was going wrong with that one contract that I nearly put the other two in jeopardy.

And the thing was, it’s not like those other two relationships had suddenly changed. But I had.

Because how I was processing that challenging contract was affecting who I was and how I was showing up everywhere else.

Now, the struggling contract needed attention; there were very real issues I had to address. But somewhere in the process, I stopped seeing it as a difficult business situation and started experiencing it as a reflection of my own value.

At the time, I didn’t have the awareness to recognize that distinction, let alone work through it. (Which is part of the reason I now coach and help people with similar challenges.)

And in the years since, I’ve also learned that what I experienced wasn’t all that uncommon. Maybe you’ve been through something similar...

👎 A client questions your work, and you find yourself second-guessing your decisions.

👎 A team member voices frustration with you, and the conversation follows you for the rest of the day.

👎 A disappointing result gets so much of your attention that you become blind to the things that are going well.

The truth is… we can spend hours trying to solve a problem without noticing how our response to it is creating additional problems.

This is where self-leadership becomes both practical and necessary!

Self-leadership rests on three pillars: How You Think, How You Act, and How You Motivate Yourself. 

Our podcast conversation was primarily about How You Think, but my client experience shows how closely those pillars are intertwined.

My thoughts were impacting my actions, my energy, and my ability to stay engaged in the work in a productive way.

Today, I still have difficult situations I navigate — that’s just part of business and life. The difference is that I’m more willing to have the uncomfortable conversation with myself about what’s happening under the surface.

I’m better prepared to explore…

➡️ What meaning I’m assigning

➡️ How it’s impacting my behavior

➡️ What truly needs my attention

And part of the way I do this is through writing. After all, writing is thinking.

Sitting down and journaling my way through the discomfort forces me to move beyond the easy, top-level answer. It challenges me to get real with myself so I can see where a business concern has become personal, where I’m making assumptions, and what I actually need to address to resolve it.

The process doesn’t magically make the challenges go away, but it does help me approach them with more clarity.

Because who you are is how you lead… and that includes who you become when something goes wrong.

💡 Practionable Takeaway

Think of one situation that has been taking up more than its fair share of your mental space. Then, give yourself a few uninterrupted minutes to journal your way through these three questions:

1️⃣ How am I internalizing this situation?

2️⃣ How is that story affecting how I show up elsewhere?

3️⃣ What needs my focus and attention right now?

Then, choose one action based on what you uncover.

Maybe you find you need to clarify an expectation before you move forward. Or perhaps you need to reconnect with someone who’s felt the brunt of your distraction. Or maybe you need to give some focused attention to other work that was neglected as a result.

Just remember: you don’t have to resolve the entire situation before you can begin showing up more intentionally.

Resolution is often a byproduct of that intentionality.

🎥 Want to Go Deeper? 

Sarah and I chatted about the questions we ask ourselves, how we navigate the ups and downs of business, and so much more.

You can check out the full episode on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

To Your Success,

Laura 💜🧡

P.S. Sarah and I may have had the initial convo, but I'd love to continue the dialogue with you. Hit reply and let me know your thoughts — I’d love to hear how you handle setbacks!