PLN 48: The Leadership Blind Spot Shaping Your Team's Culture
Time to Read: 4 mins
For years, I worked under a senior leader who unleashed a toxic weekly tirade on me. His fits came on the heels of our all-hands meetings, just like clockwork. And it was always the same…
The meeting would end, everyone would head to their next thing, and he'd storm down the hall to my office to vent his frustrations around my team's "lack of engagement."
Every Monday… Groundhog's Day! 😖
I'd know when he was done because of his hallmark rhetorical question, "Do you think I hold these meetings just to hear myself talk?" And then he'd storm off again.
He was brash, abrupt, impatient, and always right. (Even when he was wrong.)
And when people were in his crosshairs, they'd quickly learn just how skilled he was at skewering them with confidence-eroding questions.
Why did you do it that way?
How could you overlook XYZ?
Why didn't you check with me first?
In fairness, he was also very good at his craft, consistently delivering revenue and profitability numbers that regularly garnered him industry awards.
By his, the company's, and the stockholders' measures, he was successful. But his successes left him blind to his shortcomings.
What I couldn't tell him at the time (because I didn't have the skill, experience, or language to do so) was that he was the reason no one engaged.
His approach, his questions, his demeanor… no one wanted to say a word.
He created an environment where engaging felt unsafe, like you were walking into a minefield.
I haven't thought about him in years, but this memory surfaced for me today while speaking with a group of leaders about the environments they were creating for their teams.
They talked about making them collaborative, innovative, accountable, psychologically safe… but nobody brought up the (arguably) most important part of the equation:
The leader themselves.
To put it bluntly… It doesn't matter what type of environment a leader says they want, they get the one they model.
❌ If the leader is resistant to new ideas or suggestions…
❌ If the leader gets defensive when someone disagrees with them…
❌ If the leader is dismissive of feedback…
…so goes the environment.
People notice when there's a gap between a leader's behaviors and their expectations of others.
"Do as I say, not as I do" is a dangerous way to lead.
Kouzes and Posner wrote about this in The Leadership Challenge, where they identified five practices of exemplary leadership, one being Model the Way.
The whole book is fabulous and deserves a read, but this section in particular is about how leaders set the example. If you say something matters, people should be able to see that value reflected in the way you behave.
And while leading by example is easy when you're intentionally focused on the outward example, it's what happens when you think no one's watching that has the larger impact.
How you respond when someone disagrees with you, or when a mistake is made, or when you're frustrated, or the answer isn't obvious, or when someone handles something differently than you would have...
Those are the quiet moments where you're modeling the way most loudly.
Looking back, I believe my former leader genuinely wanted people to engage. But he was blind to the fact that his behavior sent a stronger message than his words ever could.
He modeled the way… and the environment naturally responded.
💡 Practionable Takeaway
Think about the environment you want to create for the people you lead.
Maybe you want more ownership, more honesty, more collaboration, more innovation, more accountability.
Now, instead of thinking about what your team needs to do differently, spend a few minutes thinking about what you are modeling.
What happens when someone disagrees with you?
What happens when someone makes a decision you wouldn't have made?
What happens when an employee brings you bad news?
What happens when someone gives you feedback you don't particularly like?
And perhaps most importantly:
What have people learned about how to work with, for, or around you?
You may discover that their behavior makes a little more sense once you consider the environment they've been responding to.
🎥 Want to Go Deeper?
As I mentioned, The Leadership Challenge is a phenomenal book with five practices and ten commitments to help you elevate your leadership.
And while I highly recommend reading the entire book, I realize there's not always enough time in a day. So, I've taken the liberty of creating a Practionable Summary for you.
You can access it here.
To Your Success,
Laura 💜🧡
Responses