Time to Read: 3 mins
If I could go back and give my twenty-something self one piece of career advice, it would be this:
Learn self-leadership and embrace everything it has to offer.
Because the truth is, there’s a world of difference between simply holding a leadership title… and actually knowing how to lead yourself first.
And boy, did I learn that lesson the hard way! 🤦♀️
Back in the early days of my leadership journey, I was faced with a team member who was really struggling in their role.
They were regularly missing their activity targets... which meant they were consistently falling short of quota. Their paperwork was a mess... creating headaches for our billing and installation teams. And more often than not, they’d stroll into the office late.
I knew I needed to address it.
I knew staying silent wasn’t fair. Not to them or to the rest of the team!
But I avoided it.
I kept telling myself things like:
- “Maybe it’ll sort itself out.”
- “I don’t want to crush their confidence.”
- “At least having someone in the seat is better than an empty chair.”
So week after week, I said nothing.
And the consequences? They were exactly what you’d expect:
- The individual kept struggling.
- The team grew increasingly resentful.
- And trust in my leadership significantly eroded.
Looking back now, I can see the real issue…
→ I wasn’t leading myself first.
Here’s what I wish my younger self had known:
The key to leading others well is learning how to lead yourself first. Because it’s in those hard, uncomfortable moments that your inner leadership shapes your outer impact.
And the truth is, the conversations you avoid don't just disappear. They cast a ripple effect that affects your team, your relationships, your confidence, and your results.
If I could go back and replay that moment today, with self-leadership on my side, I’d:
• Check in with my own fears and stories first,
• Separate facts from assumptions,
• Choose to lead with curiosity and compassion instead of avoidance.
Because the truth is:
You can’t effectively lead others if you’re not first willing to lead yourself.
Practionable Takeaway
If you’re facing a tough conversation right now, here’s a quick self-leadership check-in:
✅ What story am I telling myself about this situation?
→ Is it true, or just fear talking?
✅ Who do I want to be in this conversation?
→ Calm? Direct? Supportive? Make a choice BEFORE you enter the conversation.
✅ What’s the outcome I truly want, for all parties involved?
→ Focus on creating clarity and growth, not just airing frustrations.
Small shifts in how you show up on the inside can transform what happens on the outside. That’s self-leadership in action!
While I can’t go back and coach my 20-something self through that moment, I can share what I’ve learned with you.
And that’s exactly why I’ve just recorded my first-ever YouTube video. It’s all about:
- What self-leadership really is (beyond buzzwords),
- Why I’m completely obsessed with it,
- And a simple exercise you can try to start leading yourself right now.
If you’ve ever avoided a conversation or wondered how to step into leadership with more confidence and clarity, I’d love for you to check it out.
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Here’s to leading yourself first and creating the kind of outer impact that truly matters.
To Your Success,
Laura
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