Time to Read: 4 mins
We’re currently in Sicily celebrating my husband’s birthday. 🎉
I had planned something really special to ring in the big 6-0!
A private meal, cooked by a well-regarded and highly-rated chef, prepared in his home. A full experience steeped in Sicilian culture.
It was one of those moments you picture ahead of time… and really look forward to.
At 4:00 PM on the day of…
The chef canceled. 🤦♀️
Yeah, not ideal.
And if I’m being honest, my first reaction wasn’t calm, grounded, OR self-led.
It was filled with frustration, disappointment, and a quick mental spiral:
Are you kidding me? Why today? What are we supposed to do now?
And this is the messy leadership moment we need to talk about…
Because this is where things tend to go one of two ways.
We either stay in the reaction…
Or we shift into a different question.
After a few minutes (not instantly, because… I am human, after all), I caught myself and asked:
“Okay… now what?”
And that question changed everything, because it shifted my focus away from what should have happened…
And moved me toward what was still possible.
So we started looking at options.
What was open? What could we do? What would still feel fun and honor this big birthday?
We ended up finding a great spot with wonderful service and tasty food, and continued on with the celebration.
Just not the one I had originally planned.
But here’s the thing…
Things don’t always go according to plan. (Yeah, duh, we all know that! 🙄)
But what actually determines your experience, and your results, is how quickly you move through that moment after things fall apart.
The people who keep moving forward aren’t the ones with better plans;
They’re the ones who answer “Now What?” faster.
Because that question interrupts the spiral and puts you back in the driver’s seat.
But here’s the piece that’s often missed…
You can’t answer “Now what?” if you’re not aware of what’s happening internally.
If you don’t catch:
- your reaction
- your assumptions
- the gap between what you expected and what’s actually happening
You’ll either stay stuck or make a rushed decision that doesn’t actually serve you.
💡 Practionable Takeaway
The next time something doesn’t go according to plan, build your self-leadership muscle by asking yourself these four questions:
1️⃣ What just happened?
Stick to the facts; don’t bring in a story — it’s not helpful!
2️⃣ What’s my immediate reaction?
Name it clearly. Details will help you navigate it.
3️⃣ What matters most right now?
This is the grounding question that brings you back to intention.
4️⃣ What’s the next best move?
It doesn’t have to be the perfect move, just one that moves you forward.
These four questions will take you from disappointment to forward momentum.
But don’t take my word for it!!!
Prove it to yourself. 😉
🎥 Want to Go Deeper?
Being able to move through that “Now what?” moment starts with something foundational:
Self-awareness.
It’s what allows you to catch your reaction, see the situation clearly, and choose your next move intentionally instead of reactively.
If you want to strengthen that skill, I put together a short video on how to boost your self-awareness in just 10 minutes a day.
It’s simple, practical, and something you can start using immediately.
You can check it out here.👇
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Ciao,
Laura 💜🧡
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